‘ God’ Messed Up
It was the weekend and I stumble out of bed to escape a nightmare; I dreamt I was living in the year 2017. Maybe, if I read the latest edition of the Abdicate I would feel better. Sadly I knew these people gave up reporting on the news long before Pres. Dump declared it to be fake. Undeterred I thumbed the pages to the Horoscope, it was here I would find comfort. The renowned historian, Steve Mc Daft, had his uplifting commentary on this page.
As I read it I knew I was in safe hands –there was a plan. My fear of living in 2017 was just that; now I was back in the real world. G.M.U. (God Messed Up), as those not in his presence oft called him, had devised a plan to growth. We were saved.
All I had to do was believe. Yes, “some people find the budget documents a little confusing”. Including the council I thought as there are often errors in them. Of course it was hard to deal with the now and a year hence (this was a polite way of saying residents are dumb). So the message was to be clarified and I was lucky for I knew this is what they did to butter. So now I could read the verbose commentary and know for certain I was being buttered up.
And lucky for me I had watched Master Chef for I knew if heat is applied it is caramelised – too much heat and it would be burnt. So with this honest statement in mind I read on. I knew I had been burnt.
So it was true, my dream I mean. The special rate variation was based on the opinions of the statistically significant community reference group. Some 467 people are panel members (all have computers so they are randomly selected?). Some 205 completed the survey and presumably it is not at all significant 262 did not respond. Of those responding only 35 strongly agree with the proposal to apply for the rate variation. But, to be fair, another 49 gave a lukewarm tick to the proposal. Now this is significant. There is absolutely no bias in this result; it is a straight out mandate to proceed. So cop that. Less than 8% of the people (on the panel) are significant. This is 4% less than the other statistically significant members expressing disagreement but this is not important.Mind you, just on 60% failed to respond – this is apathy. It is a good indicator of council’s failure to adequately communicate to all residents. But it is significant 35 people agreed with the view of council (Mr.Daft). So this is enough to tick the box for community consultation and to conclude there is a willingness to pay for the rate increase. It was a shame we did not know what was good for us.
In 2017 “council is now positioned to manage the city’s infrastructure with confidence”. (There is a factor of + or – 6% apparently). This we can read as, up to now council has not looked after our assets. So tell us something new. For some time, thanks to my dream, I knew all the past plans were without substance. But do not fear the G.M.U. has got one bit right. There will be growth; some will get taller and some will be smaller. Some will get older, some will get richer and some will be poorer. It is a shame we do not know where the growth is meant to be. But we do know he will foster it; yes the G.M.U. will deliver on this. It took seven years and it only cost us $2 million for his salary and perks but the G.M.U. will deliver. As I stopped to think about it I wondered; was this value for my money. So stop patting yourself on the back and get on with what we pay you to do.
And, “some people find the budget documents confusing”.
Submitted by Cob.
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